I don’t have good dreams. Almost all of my dreams consist of one main element: I am trying to do something mundane like get to class, or leave a building, but I cannot seem to do it no matter how hard I try. I spend the whole dream (nightmare) walking through some invisible force that… Continue reading Burnout
Tag: Autism
what I want you to know
I don’t often share the details of our daily lives. There are many reasons for it, the first is that I seriously doubt anyone wants to hear them. It’s too much, too hard, and too constant for people in our lives to hear about regularly. No one knows what to say, and I understand that.… Continue reading what I want you to know
a year in review: 1st grade
As is my new yearly tradition, it’s time to reflect on Caleb’s 2nd year of school since Pre-K, which is also right around the 2nd anniversary of his autism diagnosis. Writing is a way of expressing myself, of reflecting and remembering and processing. Raising a child with autism is traumatic, folks. Almost every day is… Continue reading a year in review: 1st grade
I love you, Mommy
“You should be a teacher, Mommy,” Caleb tells me last night. “Why’s that, bud?” “You have good behavior. You yell sometimes, but you mostly have good behavior. You are nice to me. You left your job to have more time with me. I love you, Mommy.” “I love you, too buddy. More than you know.”… Continue reading I love you, Mommy
I hate you, Mommy
“He has autism,” I say. These words are so limp and useless. They are inadequate and meaningless. The yawning gap between those 3 words and our reality is so hard to describe. I want to be understood, but the truth is, I barely understand it myself. My guess is that you have something like that,… Continue reading I hate you, Mommy
our messy joyful life 