marriage, Motherhood, Women

5 things your counselor won’t tell you

  1. We don’t want you to know how much it costs us emotionally and financially to do what we do because it’s not about us. It takes years of school, a year of unpaid work, and years of experience and supervision, a licensure exam, and infinite paperwork to become fully licensed. Once licensed, we attend at least 35 hours of continuing education courses every 2 years to maintain licensure. The degree, supervision, classes, and renewals are all very expensive. Disproportionally expensive when compared to the salary of a counselor, especially a new one.
  2. We understand that our fee is expensive, and we don’t want cost to hinder your getting the help you desire. Many of us will lower our fee, but after taxes, office space, payment/billing/scheduling software, website, supplies, continuing education, training in new techniques and therapies, student loans, professional association memberships, business licenses, insurance, supervision, educational books/resources, and business bank accounts, we are keeping much less than half of what you pay. Sometimes, we even lose money.
  3. We try to leave the pain, suffering, and evil we hear in session at the office, but sometimes we bring the weight of it home with us. It can be a lonely, heavy burden.
  4. We truly care about you and enjoy what we do, but it is also our livelihood. We schedule our day around your appointment. It feels disrespectful, and at times, hurtful when you no show, or cancel right before your appointment. It’s true you’re not supposed to consider our feelings for the most part; it is our job to consider yours. We really only ask for respect of our time and training.
  5. It may sometimes feel like you’re not doing much in session, but you’re not realizing subtle ways we are showing you that your feelings are valid, you are worth being understood, and worth loving. We are helping you listen to and trust that small voice inside of you that already knows the answer. We are helping you call out the lies and pain that hold you back from being yourself, being known, and being healthy. We are giving you a safe place to show all the parts of yourself that you’re scared to show anyone else, a place without judgement and with unconditional acceptance and love. When we are doing our jobs well, you will not realize all the work we’re doing because it feels like you’re the one doing it. Soon enough, you will know that you are capable of all of it without us, and that is what we want for you.

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