I was recently asked what my biggest regret was. My mind flitted over bad decisions in my past. Hard to pick one, honestly. Then, it hit me that my biggest regret is not loving myself sooner. Loving myself sooner would have surely shortened my list of bad decisions, but even more important than that; I would have been less afraid to try new things, and to challenge myself. I wouldn’t have let the fear of failure or embarrassment prevent me from trying, or from expressing my true feelings.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so infinitely grateful to be figuring it out now! This season of my life has been about learning how to love myself. Learning how to be kind to myself and comfortable in my own skin. Challenging the negative assumptions I’ve always had about myself. I wrote about my assumption that I’m not athletic or strong (among other things) in my last post and how I overcame that by adding truth with actions. I’ve spent time learning how to become a better mom, and be less critical of my mistakes. Every mistake is an opportunity to become better, and I’ve really made it my mission to learn and grow.
My newest negative assumption to overcome? “I’m not stylish”, “I don’t know how to dress myself”, “I’m just not cute”, “I couldn’t pull that off.” I’ve never been comfortable wearing the things I so admired on others. Afraid to accessorize. Afraid to step out of my comfort zone and buy much more than the simple, easy, same cuts and lines and colors.
I realize now that it’s all about confidence. Once I became comfortable in my own skin (oh high school body, why did I not appreciate your hotness?!!!). This comfort happened like yesterday, so I’m still a novice at this whole self love thing. It’s a process for sure. Better late than never though, right? This comfort has given me the ability to try new things, and to wear things that have been sitting in my closet forever because I just couldn’t feel confident enough to wear them.
Y’all, loving yourself doesn’t mean you stop improving. It doesn’t mean you are prideful. It doesn’t mean you can’t have fitness goals, or notice the blemishes. I’ve wasted so much time waiting to be comfortable in my own skin until I lost the last 5 pounds, my face cleared up, or whatever the next thing was. It just means that you use kind words, you step outside your comfort zone, you embrace the gift of your body, AS IS. What it allows you to do and experience. Once you can do that, I bet meeting your fitness goals will be a heck of a lot easier.
I remember when a zit would ruin my whole entire day(s). I mean RUIN! I couldn’t find a way to be happy or joyful because, ZIT! I have a ZIT(S) AND IT’S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT AND YOU ARE LOOKING AT IT. YOU SEE IT. YOU ARE CRINGING BECAUSE I’M SO DISGUSTING. Nowadays, I still have zits and wrinkles. (Thanks, 30s). But you know what? It doesn’t rob my joy anymore. Still not a fan of zits, but I now have freedom from totally obsessing about them.
I’m going to share some of my new truth with you! I love looking at outfits, and I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and showing you some of my new attempts at being stylish!
I’m on a skirt kick!
The first 2 photos are LuLaRoe’s Cassie skirt (which is the most comfortable, versatile, cutest skirt ever! $30 folks!), the last skirt I tried to sell at a garage sale because I’ve had it so long and never wore it! Glad it didn’t sell! All the shirts are from Target, because no matter how stylish I try to be I will never like spending a lot of money on clothing. The boots are at Old Navy now (they aren’t available online)!
How would you like to love yourself better today, friend?
Love,
L
our messy joyful life 